


For the Best

by Nia_River



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, F/M, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-30
Updated: 2012-05-30
Packaged: 2017-11-06 07:48:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/416470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nia_River/pseuds/Nia_River
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the aftermath of a visit to a planet where the flora lowers inhibitions, things are awkward between Rose and the Doctor.  Will the encounter bring them closer together, or tear them apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Start of It All

**Author's Note:**

> My try at a version of the clichéd "alien spores" plot. Also giving a go at something angsty.

She recalled how it had all begun. They had landed on a seemingly pleasant planet of purple clouded skies and orange flowered fields. Rose had decided immediately it would make a lovely spot for some rest and relaxation after their latest adventure. The Doctor had seemed a little distracted but she'd put that down to disappointment that they'd not run headlong into trouble for once. Or so she'd thought.

It was a few hours later at sunset when things started to become strange. Having set down her trashy romance novel in favour of watching the beautiful swathes of blue, orange and pink that encompassed the sky as the sun dipped toward the horizon, she was distracted by a strange sparkling all about. Looking down she'd gasped at the sight. The pretty orange flowers, in the dim light of dusk had begun to twinkle, almost like glitter.

Delighted at the display, she crawled the few feet to where the Doctor lay napping, sneezing as her movements sent a cloud of the sparkles into the air. Looking down at the Time Lord she'd paused, admiring the way the settling dust had caused him to shimmer in the dying light. Almost without her knowledge, her hand had drifted toward his face, to trace across his lips. Jumping back with a start Rose had blushed and reprimanded herself, but not thought anything amiss. After all, it wasn't unusual for her to lapse into appreciation of the Doctor's form, though admittedly she usually hid it better.

Noticing that the light was fading, and not wanting him to miss the show, Rose had reached out to nudge his shoulder. The Doctor had awoken slowly, blinking in confusion at the sight with which he was met. That same distracted look from earlier resumed residence in his expression before melting abruptly into shocked realisation, then horror. He rose quickly to a sitting position and scurried away from her. As he did so her hand fell to the ground, and she realised she had not removed it after awakening him, and instead had been unconsciously tracing patterns over his arm.

"No." He shook his head, hands coming up to cover his mouth. "No, no, no, no. Stupid, stupid how could I not have realised? I knew something was familiar. Orange flowers, purple sky, and now it's sunset and- no, no, no."

As her panicking friend scrambled to his feet, Rose had hurriedly followed, worried at his behaviour. Even as she approached him hoping to calm him down however, she found herself distracted by the way his clothing had become rumpled, twisting awkwardly in a way that highlighted his physique. Licking her lips at the sight she had reached out to his sides, as if to straighten his shirt. The moment she made contact the Doctor had jumped as though shot, grabbing her hands in his and making to push them away.

"Rose, no! You-"

He hadn't gotten far however before sneezing and stopping short, eyes wide.

"Oh, no."

Taking advantage of his distraction she had stepped forward till she was pressed against him, using her grip on his hands to wind them around her own waist. Some distant part of her mind had yelled that this was not right that she didn't usually act like this with the Doctor, even though she often wanted to. That part however, had been drowned out by thoughts of how wonderful he felt pressed so close, and how she loved the way his chest rose and fell with rapid breaths that drew the sparkles into him, and how incredibly sexy he looked as his eyes became heavy lidded and dilated. So she kissed him.

What had followed was a whirlwind of passion. For what seemed forever nothing had mattered but want, and pleasure, and _need_. All around them the orange flowers had continued to glitter. She'd though little of the strange flora at the time, wholly distracted as she was. In hindsight however, she would think to wonder how the blooms were capable of reflecting such light, when full dark had fallen.

It wasn't until several hours later as the sun rose and the field around them lost its shimmer that the recently joined lovers had finally been sated. Exhausted from their sleepless night, they had both slipped into deep slumber, curled around one another amidst the orange blooms.

Sometime later Rose had awoken alone but covered in a warm blanket. She'd sat up had stared about in confusion till the memories of the night before suddenly flooded her mind. Eyes flying wide and cheeks burning a brilliant red, the young woman had swung her gaze all around. The Doctor was gone, no doubt back inside the TARDIS, but her clothes had been neatly folded and left beside her. The twinge of hurt at being left to wake alone had been ignored, in favour of quickly pushing aside the blanket (which he must have fetched for her) and dressing hurriedly. It wasn't until pulling on her last shoe and reaching back down for the blanket that the flowers had caught her attention once again.

For several long moments Rose had stood stock-still, half bent toward the ground. Memories suddenly seemed to settle together like puzzle pieces as the truth finally dawned on her. The night before had not simply been the two of them finally succumbing to feelings for one another. No, she recalled the way he had looked upon the glittering field with horrified realisation and attempted to cover his face, as though protecting his breath from the cloud of glitter his movements had caused. She remembered too how the moment he had removed them and sneezed as he inhaled the spores, his behaviour had abruptly shifted. Within mere seconds he had gone from attempting to keep his distance to holding her close.

Dropping to the ground, Rose had buried her face into her hands and groaned. Looking at it objectively, she had suddenly seen how her own behaviour had been affected as well. That glitter that she'd thought so very lovely had been more just pretty lights. It had controlled her in some way or rather, stripped her of control. All those impulses she normally stifled had been let loose, to unbelievably pleasurable result.

But no it would be more accurate to say 'to unbelievably dangerous result', because she was unsure how their night together would change things. She had known immediately of course, how she wanted it to change. It would be awkward between them at first that was inevitable. But surely they could survive, and perhaps with time this incident could become a catalyst, to a deeper more intimate relationship between the two.

Decided, Rose had finally gathered up both the blanket and her courage, and made her way back to the TARDIS. The Doctor had greeted her with false cheer and avoided her eyes, and she had blushed and smiled, but not pressed knowing things needed to settle first. Within moments the idleness had been too much for the Time Lord, and soon they were off on another of their 'run for your life' adventures, and things had been almost back to normal, but for the occasional blushes and knowing looks.

Rose had felt hopeful, not knowing any better. Not knowing how, before too long, all her dreams and hopes were going to be utterly crushed.


	2. The End of It All

Rose lay on her bed, curled to one side with her pillow hugged tight to her chest and dried tear tracks glistening on her cheeks. Sadly this was not an unusual position for the young woman not since 'The Incident'.

At first things had been as she expected. Their first adventure after The Incident had been a chaotic contradiction of emotions. On one hand there was the excitement, the happiness, the rush and the thrill that she and the Doctor's trips always brought. On the other hand, there had been countless embarrassed blushes, and far more moments of intense awkwardness than she cared to count. By the time they tumbled back into the TARDIS however, she could feel things settling some, and their comfort level with one another reasserting itself. In fact, if she read some of those looks correctly all shy, gentle and tender they were going to get through this to be even closer than before. It was exactly what she had been hoping for.

Everything changed however, their second trip out after the incident. At first everything had seemed normal or rather the new normal but then the Doctor had started flirting, and hadn't stopped. Anything beautiful and female he made eyes at, as though oblivious to her bewilderment and hurt. And then it had escalated. One day on an alien planet, he had disappeared. She finally located him a few hours later, not embroiled in trouble as she'd expected, but rather talking with a woman; a very pretty one at that.

Talia, as the Doctor had introduced her as, with a somewhat giddy look that caused a stab of pain to Rose's chest, was his new friend. Moreover, he had told the woman about their travelling and she had agreed to come along. While Rose had reeled at the news, the Time Lord had babbled on about their new ship-mate. By the time they reached the TARDIS, she knew far more about Talia than she wanted to. Not only she beautiful tall slender, graceful, dark skinned, ebony haired, blue eyed she was also rich, politically and socially important, and most crucially, extensively educated. It seemed like Talia was her opposite in every way, and all the better for it.

Time passed, and adventures were had, and Rose watched as gradually the Doctor grew more and more infatuated with the new companion. He also seemed to withdraw from her, till he was treating her as little more than an acquaintance, rather than the best friend he used to claim her to be. And it hurt. It hurt so very much. But she loved the Doctor was devoted to him and so she stayed, waiting for him to come to his senses.

The final straw had come not more than ten minutes ago. She had wandered into the control room searching for the resident Time Lord, and had found him. Oh, had she ever found him. Unfortunately, he was not alone. She stifled a sob. The Doctor hadn't noticed her presence, before she retreated. This was due to the fact that he was otherwise occupied.

Every time she closed her eyes images flashed as though seared on her eyelids. The Doctor and Talia, pressed close; his hands threaded through her long, dark hair; his lips pressed to hers, then trailing down her jaw and neck, as she threw her head back in passion; the way his body thrust into hers as she sat, skirt hiked up, on the TARDIS jump seat; his eyes on her, awe-filled and worshipful; her lips uttering words of love and him… him speaking the same.

She gasped, curling tighter around her pillow, trying to ease the pain that stabbed at her chest. Tears fell anew and she gasped and sobbed. And then it was all to much and she could barely breath. Half blind form tears she stumbled to her attached bathroom and promptly threw up.

Pressing the flush she climbed to her feet, propped herself at the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. She stared bleakly at her puffy eyed face.

"He said it back," she whispered. "He said he loved her."

She bit her lip and curled forward, resting elbows on the sink and head in hands. That was the part that hurt the most. His words. Because as much of a blur as their night on the glitter flowered planet was for the most part, some moments were vividly clear. And one of those moments was between couplings, where she leaned up to whisper in his ear, those three words"I love you". And he had looked at her, just looked at her, and said nothing back. And then hands had stared wandering and they were soon lost in each other again.

So when she had heard him half-groan, half-whisper those words to the perfect Talia just a short time ago, it had felt like her heart was breaking and the world was crashing down. Because even on that alien planet, with all inhibitions stripped bare, during a long night of pleasure, those words had never even come close to passing the Doctor's lips in relation to her.

Leaning back she turned on the tap with shaking hands, then cupped them under the faucet and splashed her face, before drying it on the handtowel. She looked up at the mirror once more, numbness washing over her as she observed how little difference her actions had made to her appearance. She stared for a long moment, an inevitable decision coalescing in her mind. And it broke her heart again, but there was no choice. She couldn't stay here; not with things the way they were.

A few hours later, and with the help of some futuristic makeup provided by the TARDIS with a comforting hum Rose felt confident that evidence of her suffering was concealed. Her bags were packed, and she was ready to face the Doctor again.

As she stepped into the console room, leaving her bags in the corridor, she bit her lip against tears to see the Time Lord curled up with Talia on the jump seat. The jump seat where not more than a few hours ago the pair had been making love. She took a shaky breath. She had to at least try.

"Doctor," she said, and he looked up at her distractedly.

"Oh, hello Rose. What are you doing here?"

"Could I talk to you privately?"

"Surely Rose, anything you have to say you may say before me also," Talia asked in her oh-so-cultured tones, and the Doctor nodded his head rapidly, obediently.

"Of course it can sweetheart," he agreed and Rose flinched slightly at the endearment. "What was it you wanted Rose?"

She wavered, really not wanting to do this with _her_ present. But then she gathered her courage. Was she a Tyler woman or not? Fine, with an audeience it was then.

"The thing is Doctor, I fancy you," she said, deciding to be blunt, and he merely blinked in mild surprise. "I know; I'm so stupid. But I thought maybe, after the incident in the flower field, that things might be different between us," she explained and bit her lip at the pity on Talia's face and forged on. "Maybe I'm an idiot. A silly little shop girl, with ridiculously foolish, romantic notions." _Not a sophisticated, educated woman like Talia_ , remained unsaid. "And I know you and her are together now. So I… I can't stay here. Because I more than fancy you, really. I'm head over heels, to be truthful. Stupid ape that I am I had to go and fall I love with you."

She stopped abruptly, unsure what else to say. And then he was filling the silence. Awkward platitudes; words like "flattered, really", and "taken by surprise", and her resolve to go with some dignity broke.

The next thing Rose knew she was begging him. Pleading for him to tell her he loves her too, even a little bit. She was ashamed of herself for doing it but as she was explaining, if he could give her that small thing she would stay. And she hated herself for that fact.

"Oh, your poor child," Talia said pityingly.

She tried to ignore her, focussing instead on the Doctor. But he just apologised, not even moving from his new lover's embrace as he shook his head.

"I'm sorry," he said, expression sympathetic. "So sorry Rose. But I just don't feel that way for you."

And that was that. Suddenly feeling eerily calm as her emotions shut down, she nodded slowly.

"Then I think Doctor," she said plainly, "that I would like to be taken home."

He didn't object or try to convince her otherwise. The only words he spoke were "have you packed your stuff?" as he stepped up to the console and began piloting the TARDIS. She ship gave a mournful wail, as though aware of events and not happy with them. The Doctor either didn't hear or didn't care, merely hitting the dematerialisation button. And then they landed.

Rose went back to pick up her bags from the corridor and slung them over her shoulder. When she turned around again, the Doctor and Talia were entwined on the jump seat once more. Without a word she walked past them and out the front doors.

"Goodbye Rose," were his final words, as she shut them behind herself.

For a moment she paused, palm resting against the blue painted wood, as the TARDIS seemed to cry out for her not to go. Well she was a telepathic ship after all. Unsure whether the time-ship would hear, Rose sent out thoughts of ' _love/goodbye/missyouboth/lookafterhim_ '. Then she turned around, hitched her bags higher on her shoulder, and walked away, not looking back.


	3. The Truth of It All

As the TARDIS slipped back into the vortex leaving Rose behind, the Doctor's composure finally broke. Bleakly he reached out to take Talia's hand in his own then turned it over, ignoring her smile and the stream of words coming from her lips as he pressed a rapid pattern into the palm. Suddenly, the woman stopped talking and seemed to slump over.

Stepping away from her till he backed into a coral support strut, he then slid down to the floor. His ship's thoughts were sorrowful and rebuking. An unusually vivid reaction from the old girl to someone leaving. But then, Rose had always been more than the usual companion. He ran a comforting hand along the strut behind him, wincing as the ship echoed to him Rose's parting thoughts of ' _love/goodbye/missyouboth/lookafterhim_ '. How she could still care so much after what he'd done, thinking he had no feelings for her, was beyond him.

What she didn't know of course, was that the truth was quite the opposite. He loved her back. Oh did he ever love her back; had for a long time. So much so in fact, that he'd quickly begun to fear what he might do when he lost her. The very thought of the vengeance he would wreak upon those who took her from him gave him nightmares. Having Rose with him gave him such strength. But he'd come to realise that if he lost her, he could easily become a monster in his despair. And so he had always kept her at a distance best friends and nothing more.

And then had come 'that planet', with the glitter-like drug in the air and that glorious, terrible night in the flower fields (normally his superior biology would lend him some resistance to such things, but that had been one of the cases where he was every bit as susceptible as a human). And in the wake of that night he hadn't known how they would go back to just friends. He found his gaze lingering on her more often and his thoughts straying to places he'd previously managed to avoid. But somehow he managed and things continued on mostly as normal. Until that is, he'd noticed the hope in Rose's eyes, that they would become more in the aftermath of what had happened, and he knew he had to do something.

So, he had started pushing her away. First he would flirt with every beautiful woman he came across, making sure his Rose saw. Then, when he realised that wouldn't be enough to crush her hopes, he knew he had to push her out of his life entirely. It was for the best, after all. And he did it in the most cruelly effective way possible. He played on all her insecurities by bringing aboard a companion who embodied everything Rose didn't think she was but wished she could be.

Talia was physically her opposite, and was intelligent and highly educated, refined and socially important. He made it appear that he was becoming closer and closer to the new woman, at the same time becoming more and more distant from Rose. He played the infatuated suitor and finally, as the terrible coup de grace, he had set up the scene in the control room for her to walk in on, of him and Talia 'together', and him declaring his love.

It was something he'd never said to Rose. Not even on that alien world, with his inhibitions so repressed. When she'd said the words to him then, he wanted nothing more than to say them back. But even drugged some part of him had known it wasn't wise. She couldn't know how unbelievably hard he'd had to struggle to simply remain silent. Nothing had ever been so difficult. Of course, Rose didn't know that. And after hearing him moan those words to Talia, the blonde had come to one possible conclusion. The very one he intended in fact; that he didn't love Rose after all.

He'd known then it was only a matter of time before she asked to be taken home. He hadn't expected it to be so very soon, but again, it was for the best. He'd spied traces of redness in her eyes when she entered the room, and had known she'd been crying despite her cosmetic efforts. Pain had stabbed at him to know he was hurting her but he'd held strong, knowing it had to be done. But that was nothing to the pain he felt when she admitted aloud her feelings for him. He hadn't expected her to be so brave, though he should have.

Though it hurt to see the way her heart broke once again, before his very eyes, he denied her and played as though he was uncomfortable with her admission. Empty platitudes and awkward apologies, even as she begged him to love her back, even a little. Oh his poor hurting Rose. And it was all his fault. And then she left.

Raising a hand to his face he was surprised to find tears on his cheeks. How long had it been since he cried? He raised his knees and pressed his forehead to them. She would never know of course, that it was all a ruse. Never know that Talia was nothing but a machine. Admittedly a very complex and realistic android, but not one with any amount of true sentience. He looked up at said robot with hateful eyes. There was a supernova set to go off on the far edges of the Beryn Galaxy a few minutes from now. Perhaps he would destroy the 'Talia' by throwing her into an exploding sun. Yes, he thought climbing wearily to his feet. That sounded like a fitting end for the despised machine.

And then… and then he would continue on.

Alone.


End file.
